From the Rough

Golf without discretion

Left and right-handed golf balls bring a whole new meaning to the term ‘fore right’

with 6 comments

We’ve all seen it a million times before on those golf infomercials that come on the Golf Channel around 2 am each night. An item pops up on the screen claiming it can take you from a weekend hacker to a 5 handicap with one simple payment of $105.99 (plus tax, of course).

You buy the training aid and promptly find out that the guy who was selling the item hard on the television is full of crap. The item was a complete waste of time and money. We’ve all been there before. It doesn’t matter how many times you watch those infomercials, there’s always one that looks appealing enough to sucker you into buying it.

Just like the infomercials on the tube, I tend to get a similar number of “press releases” in my inbox each day touting items that are supposed to turn you into Tiger Woods. Now I’ve become accustomed to glancing at these things for 3 second before clicking the delete button, but sometimes an item comes along that just catches your attention for being so absurd, well, you just have to tell everyone else about it.

The term “It’s the indian, not the arrow” is something I’ve heard many-a-times on the golf course. It’s a phrase I tend to use myself when I’m tempted to chuck my 5-iron into the woods after the ball decided it wasn’t in the mood to listen.

No matter how many boxes of Titleist ProV1’s you buy, we all know that the ball isn’t going to make us score better. Sure, it’ll spin and check-up if we hit a great shot. But don’t expect it be a game-changer if you only get out to the range a couple times a year.

While I’ll admit ball technology has come a long way, I’ve never seen a golf ball that’s been touted this way. Sure, they make golf clubs and gloves for for right and left-handed players, but what about golf balls?

That’s right … golf balls. Here’s the press release I received:

The Kids Golf FREE(R) Program today announced the launch of the most technologically advanced golf balls ever made – which will be available to members across the United States beginning April 1, 2010.

Kids Golf FREE(R), the premier youth golf program in the United States, has taken an entirely different approach to simplifying the game for new golfers. Their innovative invention has created golf balls for both Left and Right-handed golfers. These new stance-specific balls are designed to counteract the normal swing forces of most golfers – straightening out shots and making it easier to hit fairways and greens.

The Left Handed golf ball has a unique counter-wound core with a right-of-center weight bias. The effect of this unique approach to golf ball construction creates a ball that wants to spin to the right when struck. The result is a swing having an outside-in path, which creates a shot that has a slicing tendency (to the left), will now fly straight because the effects of the core counteract the spin created from the clubface. It has been shown that 91% of golfers have a slice-prone swing.

Before you stop reading, remember that it’s not April 1st. We’re talking about balls here, man. Left and right-handed GOLF BALLS. I’m speechless.

The ball claims to have a “counter-wound core with a left-of center bias” that’s supposed to counter a slice when you hit it. Not only that, they’re claiming a heavy slice will turn into a fade that goes three to five yards offline. So long mulligans!

But here’s the real kicker; the ball is being touted as being able to drop your score by an average of 18 STROKES PER GAME. Holy shit, that’s a lot of strokes. I’m going to just assume the ball is illegal for having a computer chip in it that allows you to control where the ball goes.

But seriously, how awesome would it be to try this ball out? While the ball is illegal in so many ways, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be complaining if it helped you drop 18 shots.

But that’s not even the best part about the ball. That’s where the product warning comes in:

Product Warning

Severe slices will occur if the wrong ball is used. Right
Handed balls hit by left-handed golfers and Left Handed
balls hit by right-handed golfers will slice severely and
should never be attempted.

Now who’s going to pay attention to that warning? Screw getting an exploding golf ball for the next bachelor party you attend. Just drop a lefty ball on the tee for your righty friend and watch the fireworks. It’ll give “fore right” a whole new meaning.

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Written by Jonathan Wall

04/03/2010 at 1:15 am

Posted in Golf balls, Humor

6 Responses

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  1. […] golf9 wrote an interesting post today. Here’s a quick excerptThe Kids Golf FREE(R) Program today announced the launch of the most technologically advanced golf balls ever made – which will be available to members across the United States beginning April 1, 2010. … […]

  2. […] Left and right-handed golf balls?!? You’ve got to be kidding me… « From the Rough […]

  3. […] Left and right-handed golf balls?!? You’ve got to be kidding me… « From the Rough […]

  4. […] Left and right-handed golf balls?!? You’ve got to be kidding me… « From the Rough […]

  5. me and my best friend are members of the local town golf club, i am really excited to play golf ~.’

    Round Mirror ·

    11/14/2010 at 9:03 am

  6. […] creates a ball that wants to spin to the right when struck. The result is a swing … “left-handed golf” – Google Blog Search This entry was posted in Left-handed Golf and tagged balls, bring, golf, left, meaning, […]


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